Josh Writes a Blog

Category: reviews

  • Reviewing a Mix CD from 2003

    I posted this tracklist to my LiveJournal, which I kept from 2001 to 2011. Some of you reading this will remember my LiveJournal, but I think most of you will not. Suffice it to say: I was angsty as fuck, as it encapsulated my life from age 18 to age 28. The “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing” years, if you will.

    If you have Qobuz, here is the playlist, with the exception of Menomena’s “Cough Coughing,” which isn’t on there for some reason. If you still support the guy who spend €600 million on AI war drones, then here’s a YouTube playlist instead. It DOES have “Cough Coughing,” so there’s that.

    Read more: Reviewing a Mix CD from 2003

    Annoying Opening Paragraph Where I Talk about The Backstory of the Mix CD

    I was born in a coal mine in 1983.

    Okay but for real, I grew up in a country music household. This was mostly due to my father, who was in a country-western band called the County Knights (they eventually dropped the “Country” because they were also playing bluegrass and americana stuff). I heard a lot of Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, etc. But even with that as the dominant sound of my childhood, my older brothers were listening to more mainstream music from the 80s and early 90s. Van Halen (DLR and Hagar), Prince, etc. And I was listening to the radio, so I was getting my recommended dosage of pop music. There was also, of COURSE, the late 90s swing revival, which I glommed onto like a kid who was unaware how uncool fedoras were going to be a scant few years later.

    me in a full zoot suit standing in front of my dad’s 1973 cadillac. circa 2000

    My introduction to indie music came through friends in high school. There was a group of ‘em who all listened to bands like The Promise Ring, Fugazi, Sunny Day Real Estate, and Piebald, among others. And I was obsessed with their obsession. I truly started listening to these bands because I wanted them to think I was cool. And I don’t know if I ever truly succeeded; I mean, they liked me, we were friends, we hung out, but I always felt like an outside to that group in particular.

    p.j. and bennett, two of the aforementioned friends i wanted to impress, plus me, looking like a dork. i think this was in the drama classroom, likely 1998, due to the hope floats poster

    The good news is that even if we didn’t even end up becoming the Best of Friends, the music they listened to was awesome. It was the seed for me branching out musically.

    The second seed, which was planted around this time, was a website called emusic.com. This was back in the lawless pioneer days of music piracy and Napster and all that. My dad had gotten a subscription to Emusic and I scoured the Alternative & Indie (or I guess it was Alternative/Punk at the time) for new bands to listen to. I’ve told this story a hundred times, but Emusic is where I discovered the Decemberists, one of my favorite bands. For some reason the music curation at Emusic was very good, and I found myself downloading a bunch of full albums for free (because Dad had a subscription—again, this was before streaming). Thus, my musical repertoire was expanded greatly.

    the emusic front page circa 1999, courtesy of archive.org

    Later influences like Pitchfork would help hone my musical tastes, but for a while there, I was just downloading and listening to shit on Emusic. Saving what I like, tossing what I didn’t. I guarantee most of the tracks on this mix CD came from Emusic mp3s.

    Anyway, enough bloviating. Let’s listen to the mix!

    The Decemberists – Leslie Anne Levine

    Album: Castaways & Cutouts

    Again, I’ve said this before, but I cannot state how impactful this song was to 19-year-old me. It felt like a real “needle in a haystack” sort of situation—I was poring through Emusic bands, finding stuff that was alright. But when I heard the first chords of this song, I knew this was the best band I’d ever heard (at the time). The entire album was so interesting, the stories so unique, the “lit pop” so nerdy without being, like Weird Al nerdy. I loved Weird Al, but I hadn’t really heard a band that was nerdy and serious at the time.

    I think I got this album in 2002? My timeline on when Dad got Emusic is hazy. I definitely pride myself on knowing this band “before they were famous.” This band and Gorillaz, basically. I knew Gorillaz before they were cool, okay? Deal with it.

    A good opener for a mix CD, but NOT a mix CD you would send to a crush. This is NOT a good crush song. (Semi-related, but I was terrible at crush mix CDs.)

    Clearlake – Almost the Same

    Album: Cedars

    Clearlake was a Brighton, UK band whose second album, Cedars, was a Pitchfork BNM (Best New Music—I’m shortening it because I suspect I’ll be using it a lot) entry. A really great chugging, driving song that doesn’t ever let up. I suspect in my head I thought This will be a great second track to the slower “Leslie Anne Levine.”

    Weird fact: one of the founding members of this band is Jason Pegg, who, as far as I can tell, is no relation to Simon Pegg. However, a Simon Pegg is listed on the Wikipedia entry for Cedars, being in charge of “Lighting, Pyrotechnics.” I feel like if that was the Simon Pegg, we’d know about this illustrious past.

    The Rapture – Heaven

    Album: Echoes

    I truly thought this album, Echoes, was from like 2007-08. The Rapture was like a “disco punk” band. Question mark? In the vein of !!! and, uhhh, other bands like that that I can’t think of at the moment. I guess LCD Soundsystem a couple years later. The Rapture was raucous and I liked this song and, more so, “House of Jealous Lovers.” In fact I probably put “Heaven” here because at the time I was sick of “House of Jealous Lovers.” I never was much into the rest of the album and, listening to it now, I still am not! It’s too disjointed for my taste. I’ll put “House of Jealous Lovers” below because it is the superior song and I am kicking 20-year-old me for not including.

    Grandaddy – Now It’s On

    Album: Sumday

    Ah, Grandaddy. Such a comfort band. I love Jason Lytle’s vocals and how this band feels like it should be listened to with wired headphones while aimlessly skating down the Santa Monica pier during sunset. I don’t have anything to add here! Go listen to Grandaddy.

    My Morning Jacket – Mageetah

    Album: It Sill Moves

    MMJ was always in my periphery as far as bands were concerned. I liked them but I wasn’t super into them. But I think overall this band is still pretty popular, which is cool! Good for you, Jim James! I don’t know why I added this to the mix CD though and if I had to do it again, I probably wouldn’t. It’s not a bad song! It just veers into jam band rock territory and that makes me nervous.

    Interpol – Roland

    Album: Turn On the Bright Lights

    I saw Interpol at the Big Easy in Boise, ID back in 2005 and they all wore suits and the lead singer was smoking a cigarette and in between drags he would notch the cigarette between the strings of his guitar, on the headstock. HOLY SHIT there’s a TikTok video of him doing it!

    @anticsofinterpol

    Paul Banks putting his cigarette on his guitar so he can play 🚬 #Interpol #indiemusic #indieband #paulbanks #interpolband #leiferikson

    ♬ original sound – antics of interpol

    Anyway that was the coolest thing I had ever seen at the time. If my dad’s medical issues from smoking hadn’t nearly killed him, I probably would’ve picked up smoking right then and there! Interpol was the fucking coolest back then. Like The Strokes.

    Earlimart – The Movies

    Album: Everyone Down Here

    Genuinely have not listened to this band in decades. They were pals with Grandaddy and recorded stuff together, but I don’t think that’s how I heard about them. Honestly, probably Pitchfork. This is a fine song, probably added to contrast the faster “Roland.” Because I was an expert mix master back in my 20s. I’m re-listening to the album and it’s pretty good! I do not remember it at all.

    The Unicorns – Sea Ghost

    Album: Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone?

    God I really loved this band. Quirky as hell (they’re Canadian, what else would you expect). They kind of sound like a mirror-verse version of The Shins. Even the album art feels like mirror-verse Shins. Or, remember the Fiery Furnaces? God I hated that band. There was a whole “quirky/twee” aesthetic back in the early 2000s that people don’t talk about as much anymore.

    I listened to this album a lot but was always frustrated by it. It always felt … unresolved. Like “Sea Ghost” never really settles, and I think some people really like that, and, with all due respect, I think those people take heavy doses of Adderall to function in life. I guess what I’m saying is that, in review, I kind of hate this band.

    “I Was Born (A Unicorn)” is still pretty good though.

    Neutral Milk Hotel – Two-Headed Boy

    Album: In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

    My NMH story is that they broke up years ago and were never going to tour again and then one year they were like “We’re going to tour again!” This was 2014, and they played the Crystal Ballroom in Portland, a venue notorious for A) springy ballroom floor and B) terrible acoustics. (The joke was that popular bands would play the Crystal once, and only once.) My friends and I all got tickets but the night of the show we were so tired and didn’t want to go. This is when I really started to feel like an adult. I was nearly 31 and I was too tired to go see one of the most influential indie bands of all time.

    But then we went and it was so awesome and I’m glad I did it. I don’t really need to explain how groundbreaking Neutral Milk Hotel was. The ultimate indie band. “Two-Headed Boy Pt 2” still makes me tear up.

    The Decemberists – Red Right Ankle

    Album: Her Majesty, The Decemberists

    I put three Decemberists songs in here because I was genuinely obsessed with them. I’m telling you! I know a lot of you already know this. You’re like “Fucking hell we get it, Josh, they’re your favorite band,” and I’m like “Well not really anymore, though I still love them” and you’re like “Okay well who is your favorite band now?” and I clamber up on top of my desk and proudly proclaim “THE WIGGLES”

    I will say that this is an interesting track to follow up “Two-Headed Boy,” mostly because that song ends abruptly as it leads into “The Fool,” which is a very bombastic sort of instrumental dirge, with horns and stuff. The juxtaposition is neat.

    Menomena – Cough Coughing

    Album: I Am the Fun Blame Monster!

    Another band I truly haven’t listened to in years. I think I was more enamored with the experimental aspect of Menomena than the actual music. They are Portland-based, which I didn’t know at the time. I think they used a lot of looping? I dunno. Listening to this now, I’m like “Why? Why did I pick this song?”

    For some reason it makes me think of the Caribou album Swim, from 2010, which has an excellent first track, “Odessa,” and then after that is an album that requires a lot of focus to listen to. Just that idea of an album having one good song on it and the rest is “good” but also hard to really enjoy.

    Both I Am the Fun Blame Monster! and Swim were albums I found from Pitchfork’s BNM and both are albums that I think just aren’t for me. C’est la vie!

    TV on the Radio – Staring at the Sun

    Album: Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes

    Now this is a band I still like. The last time I hyperfocused on Minecraft, I was listening to TV on the Radio while playing it. I was in the Nether? is that what it’s called? The Hell part. God that place sucks ass. I don’t get Minecraft sometimes. It’s fun but then they’re like “Here’s a section of the game that sucks” and people like that for some reason. I just want to tell these kids in their teens and 20s, “HEY STOP LIKING STUFF THAT SUCKS! YOU’RE GONNA DIE SOMEDAY!”

    Anyway, TV on the Radio rules. I think we’re getting to the part of the mix CD where I lost interest in really paying attention to the flow of the mix, though.

    Radiohead – Go to Sleep

    Album: Hail to the Thief

    Yeah, really feel like I hit “Randomize” on the Winamp playlist 5x and then shuffled some of the tracks at the top and called it a day. Kind of fascinated that I picked not only a Hail to the Thief track, but also a (mostly) acoustic Radiohead track. Not even the best track on the album, which I always thought was “A Punch Up at a Wedding.”

    Sufjan Stevens – For the Widows in Paradise, for the Fatherless in Ypsilanti

    Album: Greetings from Michigan: The Great Lakes State

    I have a love/hate relationship with Sufjan. Make no mistake, this album is great. I also desperately love Seven Swans. And in 2015 an ex-girlfriend of mine (not ex at the time, of course) surprised me with tickets to see Sufjan in concert. This was during his tour for Carrie & Lowell, an album about his mother (who had passed away in 2012) and his stepfather, who helped him found his record label, Asthmatic Kitty.

    I really liked that album and was excited to see the tour, but I thought it was bad! It was so overly self-indulgent that it really turned me off. Songs that were formerly tight and clean became bloated under Sufjan’s desire to, I don’t know, honor his mother and stepfather? I really came out of it feeling like I had been bait-and-switched or something. I’m probably alone on this, but there you go.

    This song is great though! Sufjan is a great artist. His Christmas albums are awesome too, great for the holiday.

    The Shins – Young Pilgrims

    Album: Chutes Too Narrow

    My hot take is that I kind of hate the Shins. I find them to be smarmy. Smarmy! This was a gradual thing—obviously I liked them in 2003. Why I dislike the Shins but love Vampire Weekend, who are also arguably kind of smarmy, I’ll never know.

    Also, story time! I was at a bar here in Portland, Laurelthirst Pub, years ago for New Years Eve. It was a music event called Two Beers Veirs, in which musician Laura Veirs would play songs with other artists and stuff to celebrate the coming new year. Some of the Decemberists were slated to be there so OF COURSE my friend group had to go so they could try to convince Colin Meloy to fall in love with them. But we also discovered that James Mercer, of The Shins, was also there, in the crowd, hanging out!

    At one point James was standing almost directly in front of us. And then, we smelled the very, very distinct odor of a very sulfurous fart. It truly stank to high heaven. We blamed it on James. Since then, our number one memory of James Mercer is that he has egg farts. He has yet to refute this!

    Anyway this song is embedded in my brain and everyone loooooves the Shins, whatever. Go watch Garden State again, sheeple!

    The Dismemberment Plan – Girl O’Clock

    Album: Emergency & I

    This is my second favorite DP song. I find the band to be kind of uneven, musically, but I just really love this track. I think when I was making this mix I was putting “2nd best” tracks on here for some reason.

    For the record, my favorite DP song is this one:

    The Decemberists – Shiny

    Album: Five Songs EP

    Ugh MORE Decemberists? Come on man. We GET IT. This is from their very first release, the Five Songs EP which famously has six songs on it. I miss strummy Colin. Colin knows how to play guitar better now so he’s always picking and stuff, and his songs have guitar parts and shit. But I miss when he’d strum something simple. Probably because I could cover it because I’m a shit guitarist. Oh well.

    The Mountain Goats – First Few Desperate Hours

    Album: Tallahassee

    Tallahassee was my introduction to the Mountain Goats, and to some Mountain Goats fans, that makes me a poser. You’re not really a TMG fan unless you like something from his recording-on-a-boombox era. That was the mindset in the 2000s, at least; now he has twice as many “hi-fi” studio albums than he does lo-fi. Take that, weirdly obsessive hipster guys from the 2000s!

    Anyway, Pitchfork gave this album a 6.0 or something when it came out, which is insane. This song has “No Children” on it! Pitchfork can go to Hell.

    The Books – Tokyo

    Album: The Lemon of Pink

    I had no idea what this track was until I listened to it. I don’t think I really ever listened to this album. I don’t know how I got ahold of this track, but I love it still and I have put it on several mix CDs.

    Piebald – All You Need is Drums to Start a Dance Party

    Album: If It Weren’t for Venetian Blinds, It Would Be Curtains for Us All

    When I said earlier that I was listening to indie music in high school to impress my friends, Piebald was a huge chunk of that time. And here’s the funny thing: I never really loved them. I always thought Promise Ring was way, way better. (And of course Jimmy Eat World’s Bleed American, which at the time I think the “true” emo heads didn’t like because it was selling out. Gen X was OBSESSED with not selling out.)

    But this song I always enjoyed, along with a few others. They’re still making music too! That’s awesome.

    The Beatles – Across the Universe

    Album: Let it Be … Naked

    Unsure why I added this, other than I was definitely enchanted by this alternate take. Let it Be … Naked was kind of a mindblowing release at the time. Prior to this we had that Anthology that had the new songs “Free As a Bird” (boring) and “Real Love” (awesome).

    Side note: the 2025 Anthology 4 remaster of “Real Love” sucks so bad, you can tell they used AI to enhance John’s vocals and the harpsichord is just too fucking loud. It’s mixed so terribly. Listen to the 1996 mix! It’s way better. Tell Peter Jackson to get his grubby music AI bullshit off my precious Be-atles!

    I think Let it Be … Naked was kind of the last good Beatles release before it all circled around and we got 40 million hours of Beatles again. At this point we know the size and consistency of every shit George Harrison took from 1964-1970. It’s insane. No more Beatles! You’re oversaturating the market! FOUR BEATLES FILMS? ONE FOR EACH BEATLE?! Not on my watch. (I’m going to destroy the four Beatles films.)

    Review

    How successful was this mix CD from 2003? I guess it depends. It feels mainly like an “introductory” CD; as in, meant to introduce people to new music. It’s certainly not a CD I would give someone who knew all this music already. But the problem is that I put second-best songs in there. Why did I do that? I have no idea. I was probably sick of the best songs at the time and wanted to do something different.

    I give this mix a solid B/100.

    I’m sure I can find other tracklists from other mix CDs. Once I do you KNOW I will be doing this again. Consider yourself warned.

  • 52 Days Out #1: The Iron Claw at Cinemagic

    One of my New Years resolutions is to dedicate one night of my week away from my cozy, comfortable apartment, out doing something in the world. Something that, ideally, takes up the entirety of the night, and, also ideally, benefits my local community.

    Luckily, the amazing Cinemagic movie theater here in Portland is within walking distance of my apartment, meaning if I can’t find something to do, I can always fall back on the awesome golden sheen of the theater’s curtain.

    Cinemagic is great for several reasons: the atmosphere is amazing, the prices are decent, the seats are old and squeaky, and their film options range from first runs to old VHS movies they show on the first Friday of the month. We need more spaces like this–small movie theaters that are never packed. I know movie theaters in general are never packed these days, but this space has so much charm and you can tell the people who own it really just want to give moviegoers a proper experience, rather than a gigantic screen with the audio turned up to the point it hurts your ears. Kudos to you, Cinemagic!

    For my first outing, I went to see The Iron Claw, a new film and the reason why Zac Efron looks jacked as hell lately.

    Honestly, Zac looks great in the film. Jacked but not overbearing. This photo makes it look like he’s on HGH (human growth hormone), mainly because of those abs that stick out like that. Probably was, and on steroids too; it’s Hollywood, what can you expect. But you can tell he really worked hard for that physique.

    The film is very good; I talk about it briefly on my Letterboxd, which was more of an immediate reaction. The longer burn is that it is the morning after watching the movie and I am still thinking about Maura Tierney’s face and Zac Efron’s face at the end of the film. Really powerful and moving film about brotherly love and fatherly apprenticeship. I’m still thinking about it and feeling it, which is probably my favorite thing about films, that feeling you have after watching one.

    I have a feeling a lot of my nights out this year will be centered around Cinemagic. They’re showing the 90s Gamera trilogy next week (plus a Q&A with Ayako Fujitani, one of the stars of the film and … Steven Seagal’s daughter?!). Then after that they’re showing Mel Brooks films, and I feel obligated to see Blazing Saddles in a movie theater in honor of one of my father’s favorite films.

    Hell, maybe I’ll spend two weeknights out, who knows?!

  • Bean Juice Review: Cerberus

    Cerberus Coffee, Jacksonville, OR
    Wizard Cat – Medium Roast, Blend of Brazil and Uganda
    Tasting Notes: Dark Chocolate, Fruity, Balanced
    Method: Pour over

    Obviously I bought this impulsively because of the packaging, right? Cerberus Coffee is the featured roaster for Market of Choice stores for April and May, and it’s well deserved. Great packaging and pretty good coffee too.

    Jacksonville is a small town in southern Oregon, a few miles away from Medford. I’m not too familiar with southern Oregon except for the town of Klamath from Fallout 2, but my friends who are from there tend to talk about it in a way that feels like it is a whole different land from the Willamette Valley part of Cascadia. (I’m actually traveling to the Medford area this summer so I might have some more imput later.)

    I appreciate that Cerberus puts some of its money back toward the community, especially the LGBTQ community. But how does it taste?!

    Well it tastes pretty … balanced. As if they blended two different origins and roasted them just enough to give a blanket taste. Not a bad cup of coffee at all, but nothing jumping out. I got more of the dark chocolate notes than the fruit. When I want a cup of coffee that tastes good and full-bodied without the sometimes pesky nuances of a light roast, this is what I would gravitate toward.

    Overall, despite the confusing marketing between a Cat who is a Wizard and a Dog with Three Heads who guards the gates of Hell, Cerberus’s Wizard Cat is a tasty blend that doesn’t try anything too wild. 7/10

  • Best Picture Winners, 2022-2011

    I’ve been trying to catch up on Oscar Best Picture winners over the years for a while now, and thought I’d do a lil blog with brief reviews and thoughts, organized by decade. I review movies I watch on Letterboxd if you want to follow me there.

    There will be spoilers in this! You’ve been warned. It also won’t be every 11 years, I’m just getting to 2011 on this installment so the next one will be 10 years, 2010-2000. Capiche?

    2022 – Everything Everywhere All at Once

    This is what I wrote before EEAAO won:

    I’ve watched all the nominees except for Avatar 2. I will not be watching Avatar 2.

    Out of all the nominees I think it’ll be a close race between Everything Everywhere All at Once and Banshees of Inisherin. Which is fun because they are very different films. I would be happy if either one won. The other films were all pretty good, except for The Fabelmans, which was kind of a disappointment.

    What I’m writing now: GLAD EEAAO WON. Great film, great performances. 4.5/5

    2021 – CODA

    I think this film suffers a bit by being released on AppleTV, only because it feels like a Hallmark movie at many points. But in the end I really enjoyed it, and while it’s certainly formulaic, sometimes formula is good because it creates a frame from which you can explore character, and I think this film does a great job of giving us interesting characters who must fend for themselves in the unique world of being deaf. I may not be deaf, but I understand what it feels like to be alone in a crowded room. Lots of great scenes, especially in the 2nd and 3rd acts, even if the ending part is a little contrived and probably shouldn’t have ended the way it did. 4/5

    2020 – Nomadland

    I had no idea what this film was going be about, so I was pleasantly surprised to see a type of people I’ve seen and talked to numerous times in my life growing up in southwest Idaho: poor, destitute, forgotten by middle-class America. People who hate the government and shit in buckets. Another film about being alone among people. Excellent performance by Francis McDormand and all the supporting cast, many of whom are actual van living nomads. I’ll always have a place in my heart for these folks, even if I spent much of my adulthood trying desperately to get away from that life.

    Also, the fact that Chloe Zhao made this AND the Eternals is very weird. 4.5/5

    2019 – Parasite

    I honestly don’t have much to say about this film other than I enjoyed it very much. Such an interesting premise with some wild twists and turns. I watched the black and white version which was cool, and one day I’ll watch it in color to see if it feels any different. Seeing the entire family immediately go in on the con in the beginning was great too. I love films where the characters are gung ho for anything, even if it means their own downfall. Great film. 4.5/5

    2018 – Green Book

    A lot of controversy around this film due to a variety of things that you can google on your own. That said, I liked it. Yes it has problems and is a little tropey, but Viggo and Mahershala give such great and opposing performances that it feels like an alternate version of The Odd Couple. Juxtaposing that with the utter lunacy of the Jim Crow south made for a film with some obvious plot points and characterizations, but one that I still liked sitting through. Plus, Tony folds an entire pizza in half to eat it at one point and that’s what I aspire my life to be like from now on. 3.5/5

    2017 – The Shape of Water

    This was also enjoyable to watch. I liked the spin on the classic monster movies of the 50s. I don’t really think it was Best Picture worthy though, it honestly felt a little hollow to me. Like a fable that didn’t really have a moral at the end besides it’s okay to fuck fish people. But the fish guy was cool looking and the leading lady is like Amelie if Amelie jerked off every morning in the bathtub. You go, girl. 3.5/5

    2016 – Moonlight

    This is probably the best film I’ve ever seen. Beautiful, touching, kind, this film has it all AND is beautifully shot and lit. I appreciate so much about this film. It is a film about so many things, but most of all it’s a film about men supporting men. You think about the Chiron/Kevin stuff, but Juan from the start was so supportive of Chiron. And then to find out almost in passing in the second act that he’s dead is just such a brilliant movement in the film. That relationship could’ve been its own film!

    Ah I could talk about this film for hours. I had already seen it before writing this but I’m glad I watched it again, I think I found new things in it that I hadn’t before. 5/5

    2015 – Spotlight

    Another movie I knew nothing about going into it. A very important story to be told, for sure, and some good, subdued acting, except for John Slattery, who was basically playing Roger Sterling with a hint of a Boston dialect. Again, not sure if it was Best Picture worthy, but I appreciated the “just the facts” style of storytelling on these types of movies, where the plot is just getting the thing done with bits and pieces of character development thrown in. 3.5/5

    2014 – Birdman

    I’m still trying to decide if I liked this film. I think I did. It was a little hard to watch as someone who used to do theatre (not Broadway-level, but still). I think Michael Keaton did a great job and everyone else did well, but I also kind of felt afterward that I was taken for a ride. Which is what movies do, but I’m looking back and wondering what it was I watched. Slightly bamboozled, if you will.

    That said, there were some truly enjoyable moments, like the above framed clip plus almost everything Zach Galifianakis did. 3.5/5

    2013 – 12 Years a Slave

    I couldn’t watch this film. I started it but the brutality was too much and I don’t think I can sit and watch a Black man get whipped and tortured and be enslaved for two whole hours. (I was also honestly kind of confused by the opening, which didn’t help.) I want to watch more films with Black people now, in modern times, experiencing life now, with all the trials and tribulations that follow. We shouldn’t forget slavery, of course, but we don’t need to keep visualizing it like this. Let’s celebrate Black people and not watch them get whipped all the time!

    I’ll come back to it some other time.

    2012 – Argo

    BEN AFFLECK as Tony Mendez in “ARGO,” a presentation of Warner Bros. Pictures in association with GK Films, to be distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures.

    In a lot of ways, I think this film is pitch perfect. Great cast, a LOT of tension throughout the film, from start to finish. Everything that happens on screen is serving the plot and there were numerous times when I felt actually nervous about what was going to happen, or not happen. That’s not a common thing for me. Most of the criticism I see about the film is how it doesn’t explore the deeper issues of the Iran hostage crisis, which is a salient point, but also, I don’t think this film is as much a political thriller as it is an “escape from prison” type film. Which is reductive, sure, but it has to be to serve its point. I’m sure there are plenty of other films and media that explore the complexity of the Iran hostage crisis with sufficient depth and nuance. Argo is a movie about getting people out of Iran. 4/5

    2011 – The Artist

    This film was a delight to watch. I truly had a blast watching it. I’m not a big “silent era” movie fan but I think they did a great service to the genre and time. Lots of great cinematography, shots you just don’t see anymore because they’re out of style (I guess). I think Uggie the dog deserved an Oscar nomination. Berenice Bejo is … the most attractive woman I’ve ever seen? In my life? Jean Dujardin did some excellent mugging and even though the plot was thin, it was supplanted by a certain joie de vivre (France!) that other films lack. 4/5

    If I had to pick a “winner” of these winners, I’d probably pick Moonlight, with EEAAO second and Argo third.

    I’ll be back soon with 2012-2002, yeah? A lot of those films I’ve already seen but some of them I think I need to or want to see again. No Country for Old Men? Don’t mind if I do!

  • Bean Juice Review: Skaut

    Skaut Coffee Roasters, Portland, OR
    Hawk’s Nest – Medium Roast, Guatemala Single Origin
    Tasting Notes: Smooth, Balanced, Nutty
    Method: Pour over

    The Look

    My first impressions of Skaut is the blurb on the back. For a moment I thought, Is this a New York roasting company? But no, of course not, it’s local. The story is just about Hawk’s Nest, New York, which is fine, I suppose. It means almost nothing to me, as it is little more than a blurb about a place and not indicative of the coffee itself. It’s fine!

    I wasn’t super impressed with the roast date, being nearly a month ago. That indicates to me that people aren’t buying these as much as other brands. Doesn’t mean too much though, as there are a lot of different brands to purchase from.

    The thing that got me, though, was the glaringly obvious error or wrong label on the front of the package. You’ll notice that it says this is a 3lb bag. It’s not. It’s a 12oz bag. I weighed the beans myself because I thought I was going crazy. (To be fair, it is a perfect 340g, so good work on that weight.) I do think the fact that it said 3lbs influenced my decision to buy it, for a excellent price-to-pound ratio. What can I say, it was early, and my frontal lobe hadn’t fully activated.

    I just now noticed that the edge of the label is camouflage, which is really not my thing, but whatever.

    The Info

    The Skaut website kind of annoys me. I want to learn more about the people making the coffee and their About page says “Meet the Makers,” but then you don’t actually meet the makers. They just talk about the coffee story. There’s just little blurbs at the bottom. Again with the blurbs!

    But then! I did a little digging and found that you can pick up the beans at Pips & Bounce. Pips & Bounce? Why would you pick up coffee beans at a ping pong place featured on Shark Tank?

    That’s when it clicked: the founder of Skaut is Eugene Jung, aka one-half of the duo that started Pips & Bounce. So, perhaps the lack of bios on the Skaut About page is because Eugene doesn’t want to draw too much attention to himself and his Shark Tank fame.

    That said, I would still like to know a LOT more about the whole setup. Where do they roast? Inside Pips & Bounce? How do they get their beans? “Guatemala Single Origin” could mean so many things. Are they part of a coop? What’s the deal, bro?

    I was able to find a bit of information about the coffee cultivation process, which is nice, but I want to know about the people growing it. I want to make sure that the coffee is ethically obtained. Just add some more blurbs, dude, about the people growing your coffee for you.

    I did also find that Skaut has only been around for around three years, in its current incarnation at least. So they’re pushing and fighting their way for a stake in the wide variety of very excellent roasters in Portland. Good luck!

    The Taste

    Taste-wise, it has the nutty and smooth profile it says it does. It’s easy to drink and not trying anything bold or fruity or tangy. It’s veering slightly into ash tastes for me, but thankfully not enough to be put off by it. I suspect future cups won’t feature that as much. I might try brewing with the French press next time, as I bet this will lend itself better to an immersion brew, though that might also release more of the ashy taste.

    Overall, a pleasant cup with some warm nutty notes, if a little ashy. I wish it was a 3lb bag for the same price. Oh well. 6/10

  • Some Thoughts on The Whale & Being Fat

    Last night I saw The Whale. I’m going to assume you know the basics about the movie. I’ll probably spoil a bit of it too, because I don’t know how to talk about things without talking about the thing. So be warned.

    Also, obligatory CW for weight talk and fatphobia.

    I enjoyed the film quite a bit–Brendan Fraser was excellent and captivating, Hong Chau was even more so (and I didn’t recognize her from The Menu! Such different characters, I love it). Everyone else did fine jobs, if a little theatrical. The script was clearly a play turned into a movie by the guy who wrote the play.

    Side note: The movie/play was written by Samuel D. Hunter, who is an north Idaho native (hence the Moscow, ID references). He writes a lot of plays about Idaho and is kind of a theatrical celebrity there. I didn’t know he wrote this but to be fair he did write it around 2013, a few years after I left Idaho. Plus if Wikipedia is correct it never premiered anywhere in Idaho. (I’m fairly certain some of his later plays did premiere in Idaho though.) I have … thoughts about this, about a man who grew up in Idaho writing plays on the east coast about Idaho and having very few of those plays ever premiere in Idaho. I honestly don’t know if that’s a fault of Sam or of the dearth of spaces for world premiere plays by a Julliard graduate in Idaho.

    In any case, this is a play/film about a very obese man in the last few days of his life. He is taken care of by his widow’s sister, Liz, and is visited by his estranged daughter, Ellie, a New Life church dude, Thomas, and eventually his ex-wife, Mary. Again, many of these interactions feel more theatrical than film, with the exception of Charlie and Liz, who feel like two people who are in a situation together.

    That’s probably not very clear; what I mean is that sometimes when two characters appear in plays, they talk to each other in these sort of psychological status games because in a play, there aren’t many other pressures out there. In a film, you can have a scene where a man is trapped in a sinking submarine and the water is rising and about to drown him. That is a pressure outside of man. (Man vs Nature, I suppose.) You can’t really do that in a play, so plays (especially contemporary/”realism”/living room plays) tend to have characters talking to each other a lot and trying to win, or not win, in the case of Ellie, who is clearly a foil to Charlie and written so abruptly unlike him that it’s a little jarring. It’s one thing to be angsty and 14, and another thing entirely to be angsty and 17. Hunter does set up the reason why she’s like this (or a reason, at least), but it still feels like the raw angst of a younger teen.

    There is also a lot of symbolism in this film, some of it very overt, which again feels like it’s straight out of a play. Charlie needing to hear his daughter’s essay before he dies is a good example. That sounds like a necessity born out of a play. It’s not a bad idea, per se, it just feels strange from a film perspective. Though, it is also a film about a man who clearly cannot or does not want to leave his house, so him having something close to cling to in his final hours makes sense. (The reveal of him having $120k in the bank also feels theatrical, but I digress.)

    Alright let’s talk about the elephant, or whale, if you will, in the room: Charlie’s fatness. Charlie is 600lbs and has, at least, a disordered eating disorder, or, at worst, a food addiction. I think it’s the latter, since it is obviously affecting the people around him and he cannot and does not want to quit. A lot of people who hate this film criticize it for fatphobia. Specifically, some people seem to think that Darren Aronofsky and/or Samuel Hunter are fatphobic. I’ve seen critiques that Aronofsky’s lingering shots of Charlie’s obesity are an example of this.

    So, I’ve never been 600lbs, but I have been 308lbs, as late as August of 2022. I’ve always had issues with food, which I won’t go into great detail about, but which resulted in me being fairly overweight my entire life, with a few exceptions where I was a decent weight but thought I was overweight because, you know, mental health issues. There are a couple of scenes in The Whale where Charlie binge eats, and Aronofsky intentionally alters the shot during these moments, and I think people are getting the wrong idea about why he’s doing this.

    Lately I’ve been talking with my therapist about my own binge eating, and why I do it. It took some steps to get here–not out of fear, but out of my own brain literally having to make new connections to find the links. Ironically, before I watched The Whale I had binged on some ramen. I love eating ramen raw with the seasoning sprinkled on top. It’s my weird guilty pleasure. I’ve been mostly embarrassed by this until one day I was at H Mart (an Asian grocery store if you don’t know) and saw that you can buy packages of crushed up ramen noodles with seasoning as a snack. So fuck embarrassment, Asians have been doing this for a while! But since I eat it dry, I can down like three or four of them without breaking a sweat.

    Anyway, one of my “breakthroughs” if you will was after I learned about “parts” and parts integration. It’s a whole other blog post to talk about parts but the gist is that some psychologists believe that our brain has different “parts” or centers which are initially separate when we’re kids but eventually form a cohesive whole. This is an explanation for why Dissociative Identity Disorder exists: because if you are subjected to intense trauma at an age prior to when your parts integrate, they literally can remain separate, forming different personalities, some of whom exist solely to shield other parts of you from that trauma. That is a simplified way of explaining it, of course; I am not a psychologist.

    At some point in the past couple of years, I came to realize that when I binge eat, my desire to do so does not come from my frontal, higher reasoning lobe. It is an impulsive, lizard brain thing — a different part of my brain, if you will. And that part somehow shuts down my higher reasoning brain and before I know it, I’ve finished two bags of gummy bears and a bag of Doritos. It’s like a stupor.

    When I see Aronofsky shift the camera slightly when Charlie begins to binge eat, I interpret it as this shift, from higher, reasoning Charlie to impulsive, protective Charlie. The way he looks like he’s zoned out when he’s eating is the same kind of weird zen-esque mental state I get into when I binge eat. In other words, I don’t think those scenes are fatphobic. I think they are an equivalent to the scene of the alcoholic getting drunk. They are Charlie’s coping mechanism, and Liz knows this (even if she’s a bit of an enabler).

    There are other scenes where it feels like Aronofsky is playing with the grandeur of Charlie’s size, such as when he stands up for the first time and there’s this swell of music and we see just how big Charlie really is. This seems a little more fatphobic but also, in a strange way, feels like a sort of nod of respect to the human body. Like, science and biology aside, it is wild that we can become 600lbs. I’m not saying that with distaste at all. It’s a miracle that we can achieve that, just like it’s a miracle that some guy can run a 200mi ultramarathon. And both of those extremes can veer toward death. There is I think an obvious moderation between being extremely fat and extremely thin, or being extremely lazy and being extremely fit. But to watch people achieve the extremes is truly extraordinary. The human body is amazing.

    It’s absolutely terrible that people treat fat people with the level of vitriol and disrespect that they do. I was fortunate that my 308lbs seemed to hang on my body in such a way that nobody said anything about it, but I could see it, and feel it. And, in a way, I was unfortunate that nobody said anything. I wish people had, in hindsight. I probably would’ve hated it at the time, but it would’ve been nice if someone had said, “Hey, you look like you’ve put on a bit of weight, is everything alright?”

    One of the things I liked about The Whale is how everyone (besides Ellie) truly cared for Charlie. Charlie was the only one who didn’t care about himself, but Liz and Thomas and even Dan the delivery driver cared about him. I think Ellie did too, at the end. It was just one of those nice reminders that people are generally looking out for you, but it’s hard to see that if you’re not looking out for yourself.

    Other people commented about why an obese actor wasn’t cast as Charlie. I feel like seeing Charlie in the movie explains why. Imagine being 600lbs, waking up early every morning and going to a film shoot for 10-12 hours for a month. Charlie could barely stand on his own and you’re going to ask a real 600lbs person to attempt to stand on their own for several takes? I know that people want representation in film and media but I don’t think this is the fight, because in reality being in a film takes a lot of hard work and dedication that, honestly, go against the lifestyle of most 600lb people. I’ll probably catch some flak for saying that but it’s true. You don’t get to 600lbs by doing things, that’s the whole point.

    Also, think of all the 600lb people in the world and how many of them would’ve given the level of acting that Fraser did. Aronofsky already spent 10 years trying to find the perfect Charlie, don’t you think he spent at least some of that time looking at casting an actual fat person in the role?

    Anyway. The last bit of criticism I read is that Fraser did okay but people are lauding his performance because it’s his big comeback. I think this is a shitty thing to think and I hope I never have to hang out with those critics because they suck.

    I just wanted to write this as someone who has dealt with my weight my entire life, and dealt with binge eating and how I felt that was portrayed in this movie. Which I thought was well made and well thought out. I think the movie suffers in other ways (part of me wishes it was just a Charlie & Liz film) but by the end of the film I was awestruck and had to sit with my thoughts for a while. I think it’s worth a watch. Charlie is a difficult man to watch at times but I think it’s important to humanize fat people. We don’t need to put fat people up on a pedestal, we need to show them being human. I think Darren Aronofsky does a decent job of that in this film.

  • Bean Juice Review: Keia & Martyn’s

    Keia & Martyn’s, Portland, OR
    Light(?) Roast, Colombia Nilson Yunda
    Tasting Notes: Sugar, chocolate cookie, dried fruit

    Oh boy. Oh boy. I’m excited for this one. First off, look at this packaging:

    Absolutely cute as fuck. And compact, too!

    But moreover, this coffee has a bit of lore to it, which has particular interest to me. Martyn is Martyn Leaper, of the band the Minders. I don’t know the Minders, but I am familiar with who they are connected to: the Elephant 6 Collective. These were a group of musicians who created some of my favorite bands–Neutral Milk Hotel, Of Montreal, and Apples in Stereo to name a few. (Elf Power, Olivia Tremor Control, and Beulah to name more.)

    To grab this coffee on a whim because it had cute packaging, only to find out that one of the roasters was a part of a highly influential recording collective, is pretty cool! Sadly, it appears that Martyn recently had a heart attack and is recovering from heart surgery. I hope he makes a full recovery!

    I can’t find much information on Keia, unfortunately, though having a Black woman as a roaster bodes well for the equity of the beans, I think. I’m always leery about fair trade when it’s just a bunch of squirrely looking white guys running the roastery, you know? She has even set up an awesome Equity Pricing model for purchases. Super great.

    Yeah yeah Josh, but how’s the coffee taste?

    Pretty good! First sip was a blast of bright, floral notes, followed by a rounded out roasty flavor aftertaste. I’m fairly sure the beans are a light roast, which explains the floralness of it, but they may be more of a light-medium. I don’t really get any of the tasting notes, but that’s unsurprising for me. (I’m bad at tasting notes.) Perhaps the floral aspect I’m tasting is more along the “dried fruit” route, but I swear it has a bit more of an almost lavendery-esque taste to it. I thought the floral punch would stick around but subsequent sips are much more mellow.

    Overall, great pro-social justice coffee roaster with a nice, pleasant flavored cup of coffee. And the Minders are a good band too! 7/10

  • Bean Juice Review: Happy Cup

    Hey, let’s review some coffee beans, why not?

    Happy Cup, Portland, OR
    Medium Roast, Single Origin (Guatemala)
    Tasting Notes: Cherry cordial, hazelnut butter, rosewater, vanilla

    Happy Cup is awesome. It is a roaster here in Portland which employs people with developmental disabilities, at a competitive wave. I don’t know what else to say about that other than it’s awesome.

    These beans are sufficiently roasty for a medium roast, without being ashy or sour. (I think fixing my grind helped this though.) Otherwise, pretty mellow with some fruity notes. I didn’t taste vanilla but I did get an umami flavor in there at one point, which I enjoyed. Happy Cup has never really wowed me with its beans but they’ve never been terrible, either.

    Look, if you live in Portland and you like coffee, buy a bag of Happy Cup beans every once in a while. Make it part of your rotation.

    Thanks Alix for my beans!

    Overall, a nice, middle of the road bag of beans that you should absolutely buy so you can help support people with developmental disabilities. 6/10

  • Bean Juice Review: Courier

    Hey, let’s review some coffee beans, why not?

    Courier Coffee, Portland, OR
    Light(?) Roast, Organic Congo
    Tasting Notes: None officially

    I’ve told this (mundane) story several times, but Courier Coffee was the first place I ever had a cup of coffee. Prior to them, I hated coffee. (I still did when I got my first cup.) My dad would brew a big pot of coffee every morning and pour it into a 32 or 64oz plastic gas station mug to take with him to work. Every morning I endured the horrible smell of Folgers.

    Then, in 2007 or 08, I can’t remember, I traveled/moved to Portland and got a cup of coffee with a friend, who took me to Courier. I don’t remember who this friend was now. I barely remember where we were! It’s funny visiting a city and going to a location and then later moving there and really understanding where that location is now. Like, I had another friend who lived on 60th and Glisan, and I still pass by those apartment and feel a disconnect between them now, and them when I was visiting.

    Anyway, Courier was and still is a little hole in the wall coffee shop. It opened in 2006 and is going strong and I believe that address on the beans is Joel’s house? I’m not sure, because the Courier coffee shop is on the other side of the river, and Google Maps points that address to a house on Hawthorne. I don’t know. This coffee is from Kivu, in the Congo. There are a lot of coffee farms in Kivu and there’s even a coffee called Kivu made by Kroger, which cannot be a good coffee.

    One of the things I love about Courier is the DIY attitude. The handwritten description, the blurry stamp. It’s lovely. But it also leaves out a few bits of information, like the roast level and any info about how the coffee was harvested. I think one can assume that it’s all as ethical as can be, but it’s always good to have a blurb somewhere, you know?

    This coffee is tangy! Bright and fruity. I think it’s a light roast, the seam on the underside of the bean is very light, almost white, which makes me think it wasn’t roasted long. My recent bout with covid made coffee taste like seaweed for a couple days (apparently the taste/smell issues with covid can impact your umami taste more than the others), but this does not taste like seaweed at all. It has an earthy undertone to it and a slight ashy aftertaste, but the dominant taste is tangy citrusy fruit. It’s not my preferred coffee taste, to be honest, but it’s not bad either. I think I may cut this one with milk in the future, to see if that mellows out the tang at all.

    Overall, a bright, fruity, tangy taste with some earthy, ashy aftertaste. Not bad, especially if you enjoy tangy coffee, but it’s not my preferred go-to. 6/10

  • Bean Juice Review: Groundwork

    Hey, let’s review some coffee beans, why not?

    Groundwork Coffee, Los Angeles/Portland
    Light Roast, Organic Colombia
    Tasting Notes: Tangerine, Milk Chocolate

    Groundwork Coffee began as a shop at Venice Beach, California, but now has two roasteries: one in LA and one here in Portland. So, despite the HQ being a state away, I still feel like I’m buying locally roasted beans, which is nice. The beans come from AMUCC, a woman’s co-op of coffee growers in Popayan. If there’s one thing I love about the coffee scene these days, it’s how hard some roasters are trying to work with local co-ops and growers and not exploit them. If buying these beans helps put decent money into the pockets of women in Colombia, I’m all for it.

    First off: I upped my Bean Grams, from 15g to 20g. Groundwork suggests 1tbsp of grounds per 6oz of water. That’s 15g per 177ml, roughly. Doubling that (30g to 354ml) would actually be around the amount of liquid that one of my coffee mugs can hold, but 30g seems like too much for me. A tablespoon holds about 60mg of caffeine, and I only want to hit around 100mg. I ain’t no caffeine fiend.

    The increase in grounds did improve the flavor though. It’s a much richer cup. What struck me first was how ashy the first sip was, and how each subsequent sip was more mellow. It was never ashy enough to be gross, but it was pronounced. Then came a floral, almost tangy taste (I guess that’s where the tangerine comes in), bold but not overpowering. That was the dominant flavor for me. I’d say it’s a better cup than the Two Dad’s beans, but as I mentioned in that review, I was measuring my beans incorrectly and generally getting weaker cups as a result. But I would say that I think I prefer light roasts over medium, overall.

    That said, I do kind of wish this cup had a little bit more of a roasty flavor to it. The other tasting note, milk chocolate, I didn’t really get, but I’ve said before that I’m not great at tasting notes.

    I bought these beans at Market of Choice for like $10.50 (on sale), which is a steal for organic, locally roasted beans. So it was worth it.

    Overall: a bright, floral, slightly tangy cup of coffee. I liked it! 8/10